Tonight, I've been thinking about how distant I have gotten from people back home, and even people here. I've hardly spoken to my best friend, my sister, or my parents in the past couple of months. Maybe I am just growing up and cutting the proverbial cord. What I really think it is, is that I just don't have the patience to speak with people on the phone. I am easily distracted by things that are happening here and now. Not only that, but it seems that I am hardly sitting still long enough to have a conversation. If I'm not working, I'm reading, hiking, cooking, or getting ready to meet up with friends here.
I long for the days when I could just sit still, alone, and be happy about it. I've found that even though I do need that, and I know it, it still makes me anxious. I'm working on figuring out where this feeling is coming from, but I do know that it started about a month ago.
What calmed my anxiety tonight was a solo bike to and hike up the M trail. I've never done it alone, and only made it to the M once, with Justin back in November. I made it in 23 minutes, which was quite fast compared to the first time. However, I have been biking a lot the last week, and I have been working out and running again, so that must have helped. Anyway...I sat up there, over Missoula and took in the best part of the end of a day: sunset.