Downsizing

Let's face it; I hate moving, but the last two and a half years, it seems to be what I do. The plus side of it is that I am getting really good at packing. The first time I moved, I just threw all of my pots and pans and mixing bowls in a box, as I was actually packing the truck. Surprisingly, nothing broke. The majority of what I own is kitchen stuff; and as luck would have it, that is usually the hardest room to pack.

Every time I move, I vow to get rid of the things I haven't used since my last move, and this time, I'm actually doing it. Why keep moving two crock pots, when I haven't used either in almost two years? I'll keep the smaller one just because you never know when it might come in handy. And six pancake flippers? Really? Who needs all this excess stuff?

I've also come across a box from my past. Pictures of my ex-fiance from when we were together. I can't bring myself to throw the photos away, but what do I do with them? I'm not hanging on to that relationship, but we are still friends and I really think it would be wrong to discard them.

As far as moving goes, I really do hope that this is a place that I can stay put, in the same residence for at least a year, if not longer. I'm sick of uprooting myself every year, 5 months, or 10 months. It makes me feel unstable and unsettled, which I am neither of. I hope that whatever it is I'm searching for will find me, because as of right now, I am focusing on work, and letting life lead me in the direction it so chooses. I'm letting go of fantasies, and where I thought I would be at this point in my life, because really, I am where I am supposed to be.

That leads me to a realization that I had the other night over a glass of wine with a good friend; I wouldn't be here if I had gotten married almost four years ago. If my ex had not had second thoughts, we would be married, with children, and I would feel trapped. The pain that that breakup caused me made me stronger. It also made me realize that he didn't want to get married and have children so I left for Montana, where I was blessed to meet Justin, and through him, my new boss. It's funny how life has a way of working itself out, don't you think?