Thursday, December 10, 2009

Winter blues

Yep, I believe that I do have them, those dreadful Winter blues. I suppose taking my Italian vacation at the onset of the darker season here in Montana didn't help. I was happy to be back as I had missed Justin and Oliver, (and my flat iron), but I do believe that this was the first vacation that I had ever taken that I didn't miss work. I wasn't anxious to get back to my routine, albeit a pretty relaxed one at that, as I had grown comfortable in the unknown.

Anyway, back to the point of this post. I'm a pretty upbeat person on any given day, but lately I seem to have a hitch in my giddy up. Some would say that I am in a rut, and I do believe that is correct. The only problem with this is that I have never gotten into this kind of a funk, and I'm not quite sure what has brought it on (besides the obvious lack of sunshine) so I'm equally unsure of how to get out of it. A major difference in my routine is that my running has suffered since my return. I am still running a bit slower, and in the last couple of weeks I have missed several runs, mostly due to it being so terribly cold here, and I can't run on a treadmill very well. This frustrates me to no end! I push myself while I am running and it just doesn't seem to help. I have even started going to the gym several times a week to see if it is a strengthening problem, but that will take some time to develop. On the upside here is that I have started taking a spinning class. I absolutely love it! It's an intense, constant workout for 60 minutes, and I find that my mind focuses 100% on it, just like when I am running. I feel great when I am done with the class, and am in a great state of mind as well.

Next on the potential list of causes is work. It has been unbearably slow with repairs and custom work, so much of my time there I am doing busy work. This is also frustrating, as I have a million other things that I could be doing aside from work. However...I could also be 'playing' while still working. What I should be doing is designing and working on my wax carving skills. Should. I just can't, or won't get motivated to do it. The real problem with this is that I desperately want to. I am the only one that knows my true potential, and it is there, locked deep within me somewhere. I was motivated the other night while Justin and I were out to dinner with another couple and they asked to see my jewelry. Justin knew everything about each piece, and had the same enthusiasm about them that I had had when I was making them. How do I get that back? I know how, or at least I think I do...I must look at work the way I did when it was first new to me, not as work, but as play.

Maybe a change in they way I look at my world will help all of this.

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