Realization

I'm not a big fan of self help books, so I generally don't read them. However, I just finished "Eat, Pray, Love" by Elizabeth Gilbert. Now, I realize that this really wasn't intended as a self help book, but that's exactly what it was for me, without me realizing it the entire time I was reading it. If you haven't read it, do, and take notes.

EAT...

What I took away from this part of the book wasn't as profound as the rest of the book. Perhaps this is due to being able to slightly relate, and having moved on from that part of my life. She went through heartbreak, not knowing what to do with her marriage, whether to stay or to go. Ironically, just over two years ago, I was wondering the same thing about my relationship and life that I had cobbled together with my ex. Fortunately, he and I are still friends, speaking frequently, and happy for one another. I couldn't imagine it any other way. These first 36 stories were about how she sought to find pleasure, and she chose to do it with food...in Italy. Even going so far as Italy, and getting away from her usual routine and her comfort zone of home, her demons still crept in. It just goes to show that you can run away from your problems, but sooner or later you will have to face them.

"It is better to live your own destiny imperfectly than to live an imitation of somebody else's life with perfection."

PRAY...

When I went on a 5 day retreat a couple of months ago, I had to take that many days of vacation. I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would spend vacation that way. Upon leaving, I was seriously wanting to go on a two week retreat. Now...I want to go stay in an Ashram for a few weeks. To be able to devote myself to a practice for that long, without the distractions of life would be so empowering.

On retreat, it was so nice to not check the news 20 times a day, or facebook, or email, or my phone. Everything was scheduled and planned for me. The only person that could distract me was me.

LOVE...

I think she saved the best for last with this one. And why not finish a year of self discovery with love? Her time in Indonesia came when she was starting to settle into herself and be at peace. Many times during this segment, I found myself thinking that it could have been my thoughts that were written, except of course, I've never been to Indonesia...yet.

"Happiness is the consequence of personal effort."

"The karmic philosophy appeals to me on a metaphorical level because even in one lifetime it's obvious how often we must repeat our same mistakes, banging our heads against the same old addictions and compulsions, generating the same old miserable and often catastrophic consequences, until we can finally stop and fix it."

"Many times in romance I have been a victim of my own optimism."

I need to stop trying to make other people happy, because I won't be able to until I realize what makes me truly happy. While I try not to change people, I think deep down that is what I've wanted in certain instances. Also, I need to be less impulsive with my decisions, acting on what I really want to do, rather than just going with the flow to keep everyone else happy before myself. I need time for me. Don't get me wrong, I still want to hang out with my friends, and I still will help them when I can, but I also need to realize when enough is enough, to just say no to the seemingly endless flow of distractions. My eyes are open and I can't wait to see.

It's a great book, and what I took away from it is just what I needed to. Any other time in my life, it would have been something completely different.

Photo Friday

I'm happy to report that Justin and I made it out of the wilderness safely, with only a few aches and pains, slight sunburns, and only one blister while breaking in new hiking boots for me. We haven't figured out exactly how far in we hiked, but I'm guessing 7-8 miles. It took us 5 hours to get to Upper Holland Lake, as we both were in need of little breathers, and needed to remove our packs several times. Mine only weighed about 30 pounds, while Justin's weighed around 45 pounds. On the way out, we only stopped to take photos of key points, and took our packs off once. Upon returning to the lodge, we had a couple of beers and then headed home to a hot shower and a soft bed.

I anxiously await my next backpacking adventure!

Photo Friday

It's been another busy week for me, with a remount show at work last weekend keeping me busy throughout the week, playing tennis on both of the nice days we've had, finishing my garden on Sunday, and catching up with a friend I hadn't seen in several weeks. And then of course, the World Cup started this morning. With banana and almond pancakes, fruit salad, coffee and mimosas Amy, Blake, Joe, Kim, and I were ready for the opening ceremonies and the first game by 7:30am. Tomorrow, Justin and I head into the wilderness for hiking and real backpacking for two nights, sure to be a great time.

And, it being Friday, again, here are some photos.

Just sit

Actually getting into a daily meditation routine has been harder, much harder, than I thought it would be. After my retreat in April I really wanted to sit everyday, or at least every other day. That desire resurfaced recently while I was reading "Eat, Pray, Love". The author's stories from her time in India made me realize that the feelings I have during meditation are okay, and most likely are having a positive affect on my everyday life.

So why haven't I been sitting? I know that it is great for me; I'm calmer, more at peace, less likely to over-react, I sleep better...I'm happier. What it really boils down to is that I'm also lazy. Other things seem more worthwhile, like hanging out with friends, playing tennis, eating, drinking, watching a movie, reading a book...anything but sitting.

Last night, I made it back to Miriam's house for a sit. I went alone. I could very easily have just not gone, as I did have other things that needed to get done. But I went, and I am very glad that I did. It was not a calm experience. My mind was everywhere but there, from one story to the next, and although my mind was in overdrive, after it was all done and I was home again, I felt a calmness that I hadn't felt in weeks.

Hopefully this will inspire me to meditate on a more regular basis.

Photo Friday

This week has been a busy one; Marga's birthday party last Friday night, and then a trip to Helena for the holiday weekend, and upon our return to Missoula, I was busy baking, cooking and finishing little projects. And then of course, there was work as usual, an attempted run (no marathon for me in Missoula this year, but I'm not scratching the possibility of the half) and hanging out with my girlfriends last night.

Now, to the point of this post: PHOTOS!

A freshly opened poppy in Helena

Mari's going away chocolate cheesecake with fresh strawberries

Wine charms that I made for Justin's birthday last year

Just what I'm looking for...

It seems that whenever I get interested in something, it starts turning up in articles that I read or headlines that I come across. A couple of months ago, I began looking in to working with sterling silver again, mostly because it is inexpensive compared to gold, and also thinking that I may want to start selling it in a friend's boutique. So I started thinking about using reticulation as a texture on some of the silver. Low and behold, in that month's issue of Jewelry Artist there were two articles on the subject. I started playing around with it and have gotten some fun results that I will have to photograph and show here.

My latest interest stems from my diamond grading class through GIA. I'm wanting to use different gems in my designs, and thought that getting a hold of some rough diamonds might be the ticket. Yet again, Jewelry Artist Magazine has an article in this month's issue just about that! I was delighted to read that I can get decent amounts of rough in various sizes for just a little bit of money. Now mind you, they won't be perfect octahedrons, and they won't be crystal clear, but I think that perfect stones wouldn't fit my designs anyway. Part of what will make them more interesting is that they aren't ideal, but beautiful in their own right.

Something else that I've been meaning to put together is a stage to photograph my jewelry. In last month's issue of Photography Journal there was an article on how to light and shoot jewelry. Perfect, right? Now I just need to make a setup for all of the jewelry that I am about to finish.

So now I'm off to the drawing board to make these ideas a reality. Below is a pendant that I just completed for one of my clients.

Photo Friday

Starting today, I am going to start posting photographs every Friday, otherwise I will never edit them, and no one will ever see what I think is worthy of photographing. And since I've been told by many people that I take excellent shots, I might as well let the world see them.

Wildflower on Mt. Sentinel

Sunset from Mt. Sentinel

Sunset over the Clark Fork River

Pictures of the Pacific while I was recently in L.A.